EXAM PHOBIA

Exam phobia?

Well finally after almost a month of semester 6 exams we are free.Although I have Gre coming up in next 2 months , at least some days of relaxing and meeting up old friends, relatives have already been booked…..so no more tension and the so called 'exam masks' that gets virtually put on our faces owing to the exam phobia. That makes me actually think about this words-' tension','exam masks'…exam phobia?

Are they related, similar or simply used as a complement for exams? Well for me they have their own meanings.let me make the idea clear.to start with ….after 6 semesters of engineering and writing papers in the same college it was only during this sem that my classmates noticed that ‘ I wear the same pink shirt for every paper’,few of my friends had enquired about this last sem ,while few know it from start.But this time many made it a point to ask me this question…..'hey tell us what’s the story of your pink shirt ? We heard you wearing it for every paper this time’……'is it lucky or something?’etc………so here’s the actual answer----‘yes I wear the same light pink colored shirt for every paper.And to add to it I have been wearing it right from mechanics paper in sem1,also I have been wearing the same black jeans(now that's new) from sem 5 for exams and there are many more things which I can tell u I do during exams.Like I use only a blue ‘Mitsubishi’ pen (a blue ball pen).This tradition is from school days. I carry two wrist watches with me.One I put on my wrist,other I keep on the desk next to me(it helps abhijeet who sits behind me for the exams….hehe)I use the same navy blue handkerchief….this also has a history from last 2 sems, I used to carry two calculators till sem 3 but then after my bro took one with him,I had no choice but to use one.Besides this there are other minor general things that I do specially during exams.But the question is again why all this?

Well to be honest I am a hyper tension person….although some of my friends top in this category of being panic ,I am not an exception, no matter how much relaxed I try to be....the tension sinks in thoroughly,many a times resulting in some usual complaints about health.no matter how much I study I just continue to read till the last moment….now to avoid this effect to double……I just take care of few things mentioned above .Things I do stress upon every exam are some of my so called “phobias” .Like I have this fear that what if my watch stops in between..So I possess 2 of them.others in the exam hall can help me with the time.But why to rely on others?And keep asking them the time in intervals. It will be always helpful if you time your own paper. Secondly the use of Mitsubishi is just a matter of practice.i have got used to writing with it,the grip and speed are very much accustomed to……then why only the ‘pink shirt’.The real reason behind it is that----yes it was supposed to be lucky for me……after the most dreaded paper of ‘mechanics’. I decided to wear it as a lucky charm.but then unfortunately not all papers had the charm effect.But to just throw the shirt away only because it did not work for some papers was not in my mind.it was obviously not the fault of shirt or something,also the same shirt or even the handkerchief are very convenient,who will daily decide during exams what to wear etc. the shirt is very comfortable and easy to maintain…i.e wash,dry and press……so this is all the ‘pinky story’…….rather something that has become an integral part of me during exams…….

In short its just a matter of making things work smoothly especially when the microcontrollers and the antennas together increase the probability of a working television and instrumentation system and economy function effectively(just tried to mention all the subjects we had in sem 6) so its usual that as the exam day dawns I open my cupboard and say ,'here it makes it way for the battle field'.And then again the tension and the exam masks will be put on for the very long duration that we have of our exams………

A SUNDAY MORNING

SUNDAY MORNING,7.30 A.M,MY MOBILE VIBRATED.......FLASHING ON THE SCREEN"DAD CALLING".....I HAD A GRIMACE INSTANTLY.....BUT PICKED UP THE CALL AND THERE WAS MOM ON THE OTHER SIDE "RADHIKA GET UP,U NEED TO GO FOR DRIVING,JAVED BHAI WILL BE COMING TILL 8:".I HANGED UP THE PHONE SAYING....."YA MOMS.....5MINS...."
I WAS MYSELF AGAIN,BUT BEFORE I COULD GO BACK TO MY SWEET WORLD,GRANNY INTERRUPTED AGAIN,AND I HAD TO GET UP....I BECAME FRESH AND SIPPED THE TEA,TOOK THE UMBRELLA,AND THERE WAS I ON MY NORMAL ROUTE(TRANSITION PATH)FROM MY GRANNY'S PLACE BACK TO MINE.BACK HOME AS I WAS GETTING READY(CHANGING THE NIGHT SUIT,ADJUSTING MY HAIR WHICH TAKES A LOT OF TIME.,..ETC)I COULD SMELL THE SUNDAY SPECIAL BREAKFAST.I COLLECTED MY LICENCE,CAR KEY AND WAS ALL SET TO DRIVE.IT WAS 8.15 WHEN DAD GOT A CALL FROM MY DRIVING TEACHER TO CONFIRM IF HE SHOULD COME AS IT WAS RAINING SINCE MORNING.AS I DO NOT GET ANY OTHER DAY TO PRACTICE ,DAD TOLD HIM TO COMPLETE TODAY'S SESSION.NOW I HAD MORE TIME TILL 9.SO I TOOK UP TOI......TRAGEDY HAD STRUCK AHEMDABAD .16 INNOCENT HAD BECOME VICTIMS OF THE BLAST THAT HIT THE CITY THE DAY BEFORE AFTER BANGLORE.NOT WILLING TO READ ABOUT THE UNFORTUNATE ONES I SKIPPED THE FRONT PAGE. I WENT ON READING SOME ARTICLES,AND HAVING A TOAST SANDWICH FOR BREAKFAST.BY THE TIME I FINISHED ONE ,MOM WAS READY WITH OTHER AND ON HER FAVOURITE MISSION OF MAKING ME EAT LOTS.AS USUAL I GROANED,MADE FACES,AND FINALLY SETTLED FOR HALF SANDWICH(HEHE) AND APPLE JUICE THAT COMPLETED MY BREAKFAST.I TURNED TO SUDOKU.I WAS ALMOST ENGROSSED IN THE SUDO WHEN THE CALL""ROHIT"" ALARMED ME THAT IT WAS MY DRIVER.I WENT TO THE WINDOW ,WAVED A HAND,AND RUSHED TO THE DOOR.I AM PRETTY EXCITED ABOUT DRIVING.FIRSTLY BECAUSE THESE DAYS I MANAGE IT IN A GOOD WAY,SECONDLY I WANT TO SHOW MY BRO"DUDE GIRLS CAN DRIVE:"(HEHE)STANDING BESIDES MY SANTRO PA910 WAS MY DRIVING TEACHER ......MEET JAVED BHAI-THOSE WHO HAVE ROAMED IN VILE PARLE MANY TIMES ,MUST HAVE SEEN THE SANTRO OF SANGAM MOTOR DRIVING SCHOOL POLICED MY JAVED BHAI.HE HAS BEEN THE GURU OF MANY..IN MY FAMILY ITSELF-MY DAD,BRO AND NOW ME.I STILL REMEMBER THE FIRST OFFICIAL SESSION OF MY DRIVING SCHOOL ONE YEAR BACK.HE HAD TAUGHT THE GEAR SYSTEM AND REVISED IT .AND WHEN HE HAD LEARNT THAT I WAS ROHIT'S LITTLE SISTER,HE HAD THAT TYPICAL EXPRESSION OF SURPRISE THAT ALL HAVE(AND WHICH I DON'T UNDERSTAND.......I DO AGREE THAT I AND MY BRO HAVE A DIFFERENT COMPLEXION,BUT I GUESS WE HAVE SIMILAR FACING AND CAN BE RECOGNIZED AS SIBLINGS.ANYWAYS..)DURING WEEKDAYS HE IS THE OFFICIAL TEACHER AT THE SANGAM DRIVING SCHOOL,BUT ON SUNDAYS AND TUESDAYS WHEN HE HAS AN OFF ,HE DOES EXTRA JOB OF TEACHING PEOPLE LIKE ME(WHO HAVE LEARNT DRIVING BUT STILL NEED SOME PRACTICE)AND IN A GOOD WAY SUPPORTS HIS LIVELIHOOD...........AS I ADJUSTED THE MIRROR,MY SEAT AND STARTED THE ENGINE,HE SAID"CHAL AAJ TOWN SIDE JAAYENGE:".I WAS LIKE WOW!!!
SO THERE WERE WE.....AT THE CENTAUR SIGNAL,WITH THE NEW FLYOVER REDUCING A WHOLE LOT OF TRAFFIC,WITH VIPERS DOING THEIR JOB OF SHOWING ME THE CLEAR WAY AHEAD......AS IT WAS RAINING A BIT.....(DRIZZLING)I TOOK A RIGHT AND JOINED THE OTHER CARS ........I WAS HAPPY DRIVING AND JAVED BHAI GIVING HIS USUAL COMMENTARY ABOUT THE WEATHER,TRAFFIC,THEIR KEEPERS I.E HAVALDARS ETC.THE NEW BANDRA SKYWALK GAVE HIM A NEW TOPIC.AND AS USUAL I GAVE MY OPINION IN BETWEEN....THEN AS WE REACHED THE MAHIM CHURCH HE DIRECTED ME TO TAKE A RIGHT AND TAKE THE CADDLE ROAD.......AS I ACCELERATED FURTHER...WE CAME ACROSS THE HINDUJA HOSPITAL,BOMBAY SCOTTISH,THEN SHIVAJI PARK.IN BETWEEN THE RED SIGNAL FORCED ME TO SWITCH FROM 4TH GEAR TO 1ST AND REST.I FASTENED BY SEAT BELT(WHICH I HAD FORGOTTEN)AND AS IT SHOWED GREEN,I WAS BACK ON MY TRACK.GETTING VIRTUAL BLESSINGS FROM SIDDHIVINAYAK WE TOOK A LEFT.......AND HEADED TOWARDS HAJJI ALI.I WAS ENJOYING THE RIDE....AS WE WENT AHEAD ....JAVED BHAI TRIED TO ENLIGHTEN ME WITH THE ROADS..........LIKE PEDDER ROAD,NAPEANSE ROAD ETC.WE WERE IN THE HEART OF SOUTH BOMBAY......TAKING LEFT,RIGHT AT VARIOUS JUNTIONS......WITHOUT LANE CROSSING I MANAGED TO DRIVE IN THE RAIN ,WHICH HAD BY NOW BECOME MORE STRONG.THEN A TURN BROUGHT US TO THE FAMOUS MOHAMAHAD ALI ROAD........AND THAT WAS WHEN HE GOT EXCITED,WITH MANY OF HIS RELATIVES IN THAT AREA,HE ALSO MENTIONED ABOUT HIS DAUGHTER BEING MARRIED THERE.THEN HE MADE A CALL AND I COULD HEAR A VOICE FROM THE OTHER SIDE"HAAN PAPPA BOLO......".IT WAS HIS DAUGHTER .HE TOLD HER THAT HE WAS IN THAT AREA AND WOULD BE COMING TO MEET....VERY NEXT MOMENT HE DIRECTED ME TO DRIVE INTO A VERY NARROW LANE.IT WAS A TYPICAL LANE....WITH PEOPLE FROM THE MUSLIM COMMUNITY SEEN IN LARGE NUMBER.....I PARKED THE CAR BELOW AN OLD CONSTRUCTION.HE CALLED AGAIN AND INFORMED THAT HE WAS DOWNSTAIRS.I MADE THE CAR NEUTRAL,PULLED ON THE HANDBREAK,AND STARTED IMAGINING HOW WOULD HIS DAUGHTER LOOK.I LOOKED AT THE SURROUNDINGS AND GOT GLIMPSES OF LADIES WEARING THEIR BOORKHAS(DRESS CODE PART OF THEIR RELIGION).HE WAS A BIT RESTLESS,WHEN SUDDENLY A YOUNG GIRL IN SALWAR KAMEEZ AND DUPATTA OVER HER HEAD APPEARED .AND JB OPENED THE WINDOW,GREETED HER WITH"SALAM VALIKUM".HE HANDED HER SOME PARCEL.SHE GREETED BACK,SMILED AND ALL OF A SUDDEN WITHOUT FURTHER CONVERSATION,I WAS TOLD TO START THE CAR. I FOLLOWED THE INSTRUCTION.JB CLOSED THE WINDOW,AND WE WERE BACK ON OUR WAY HOME.ALTHOUGH WE HAD LEFT THE LANE BACK ,I COULD NOT BELIEVE THAT HOW CAN A MEETING BETWEEN A FATHER AND HIS CHILD BE SO SMALL....ALTHOUGH HE WAS AT WORK,NOBODY WOULD HAVE FIRED HIM FOR SPENDING SOME MORE TIME WITH HIS OWN DAUGHTER.....THEN THE OTHER THOUGHT CAME IN MY MIND....MAY BE IT WAS IN THEIR CUSTOMS,TRADITONS,THEIR RELIGION........STRANGE BUT TRUE.SUDDENLY FELT LUCKY THAT I WAS NOT IN HER PLACE.BUT THEN IT WAS NOT HER FAULT.NOR HIS.THEY RESPECTED THEIR CUSTOMS.......AS WE PASSED A FEW MORE SIGNALS ,HE MENTIONED ABOUT HER AGAIN.....THAT SHE WAS HIS DAUGHTER.I REPLIED BACK BY SAYING THAT I COULD UNDERSTAND FROM HER FACING.INDEED SHE LOOKED LIKE HIM.OR MAY BE IT WAS MY USUAL HABIT OF IDENTIFYING SIMILARITIES.THE NEXT SIGNAL.....MADE US STOP FOR A WHILE.......WE CAME ACROSS A GROUP OF MUSLIM PEOPLE CARRYING A DEAD BODY.JAVED BHAI ADDRESSED IT BY SAYING"KISIKA JANNAJA JA RAHA HAI".HE RECITED SOME OF HIS PRAYERS THAT WERE TO PAY HOMEAGE TO THE DEAD.HE CONCLUDED BY SAYING MAY HE REST IN PEACE:"(IN HINDI)PHOENIX MILLS LANDED US ON THE TULSIPIPE ROAD.......AND IN ABOUT HALF AN HOUR I WAS BACK HOME.DAD CAME TO ENQUIRE ABOUT MY PROGRESS.JB ASSURED HIM THAT I WAS A GOOD DRIVER....HEHE.AND I WAS BACK ON MY BED THINKING ABOUT MY PAST TWO HOURS.AS A CHILD FROM A HINDU SOCIETY MY GRANDPA HAD ALWAYS HAMMERED ON MY MIND THAT MUSLIMS ARE OUR FOES.I CANNOT BLAME HIM.....IT WAS HIS EXPERIENCE,DIFFERENT TIME,DIFFERENT GENERATION.......I NEVER DICRIMINATED TO THE LEVEL MY GRANDPA USED TO.......BUT SOMEWHERE IN THE BACK OF MY MIND I ALSO HAVE DIFFERENCES,THAT DRAWS A BORDER EVERYTIME I COME ACROSS A MUSLIM.BUT I THINK WITH PEOPLE LIKE JAVEDBHAI ,WHO EXPRESSED HIS GRIEF ABOUT THE BLAST THAT HAD TARGETED AHEMDABAD LAST NIGHT,WHO EXPRESSED HIS SYMPATHY FOR THE VICTIMS OF MATUNGA BLAST THAT HAD HIT LAST YEAR(AS WE PASSED THE MATUNGA STATION HE EXCLAIMED"JISNEBHI KIYA NAH USE MAAFI NAHI")WHO NEVER THINKS ABOUT WHO HIS STUDENTS ARE,OF WHICH RELIGION,AND GIVES HIS KNOWLEDGE FAITHFULLY.........I AGREE UPON THE FACT THAT"THERE IS NO RELIGION GREATER THAN HUMANISM:".THE POINT WHEN WE ALL WILL UNDERSTAND THIS WILL BE THE DAY OF VICTORY,PROGRESS AND SUCCESS
IMMESURABLE.

KISMET KONNECTION

HOLD ON ........IF YOU ARE THINKING THIS IS THE STORYLINE OF THE UPCOMING MOVIE,OR A PREDICTION ON THE SAME,OR ANY ANALYSIS RELATED TO IT ..THEN SORRY........BACK UP(HEHE...)WELL.........ITS SOMETHING VERY DIFFERENT,BUT SPECIAL .SOMETHING THAT HAS MADE ME STRONG,HELPED IN ACCEPTING THE ADVENTITIOUS INCIDENTS IN THEIR RIGHT TERMS.I DO NOT KNOW HOW MANY WILL AGREE WITH ME,BUT WILL SURELY RECOMMEND ALL TO GIVE A THOUGHT TO THIS......
TO START WITH.....A FEW INCIDENTS THAT I HAVE EXPERIENCED HAVE MADE ME REALIZE THAT ALL THINGS ARE PREWRITTEN ,ALREADY DECIDED....JUST THE RIGHT TIME COMES AND YOU ARE BOMBARDED WITH SURPRISES(MAY BE GOOD OR BAD)IF THATS WHAT YOU WANT...THEN YOU ARE LUCKY,BUT IF YOU GET THE UNEXPECTED,THEN YOU HAVE THE FEELING......."WHY WITH ME?","WHAT A LIFE!",HOW SHOULD I OVERCOME THIS? "WHAT A MESS HAVE I DONE?"ETC.......SO THATS YOUR TRUE TEST.HOW CALMLY ,WITHOUT LOOSING YOUR TEMPERAMENT YOU CARRY ON......ACCEPTING THE SITUATION.......ITS TOUGH TO UNDERSTAND THE "KISMET KONNECTION".BUT I GUESS IF YOU TRY TO GRASP EVEN 10% OF POSITIVE ASPECT OF THE SITUATION YOU ARE FACING........IT WILL HELP YOUR KISMET FURTHER..
THE SITUATION.....AND THE FIRST ONE WHICH MADE ME AWARE THAT SOMETHING LIKE THIS EXISTS WAS DURING MY 12TH STD BOARDS.AS WE HAD A CET,I HAD NOT GIVEN MUCH STRESS ON BOARD EXAMS.HAD PRACTISED ONLY MATHEMATICS BOARD PAPERS(SITTING FOR 2.5 HOURS AND SOLVING PAST EXAM PAPERS OF MATHS)WE HAD OUR PHYSICS-1 PAPER ON DAY 2 OF EXAM.I WAS WELL PREPARED INSPITE OF THE FACT THAT I HAD NOT TIMED ANY OF PHYSICS PAPER IN PRACTISE .SO WHAT WENT WRONG?WELL SOMETHING MADE ME ASSUME THAT THE PAPER WAS FROM 11-1.30 i.e FOR 2.5 HRS WHEREAS IT IS ONLY OF 2 HRS.I STILL REMEMBER HOW LIKE AN INNOCENT GIRL I HAD ASKED THE EXAMINER WHEN THE WARNING BELL HAD STRUCK AT 12.50 ,"SIR,STILL HALF AN HOUR LEFT NA?".I GUESS THAT PERSON WOULD HAVE FELT LIKE LAUGHING AT ME,AT MY CARELESSNESS,ABSENTMINDEDNESS WHATEVER AS ONE CAN PUT.SO WHAT HAPPENED NEXT........NOTHING MAGICAL ,I HAD TO LEAVE THE LAST 7 MARKS OF THE PAPER.I COULD HAVE COMPLETED IT IN SOME OR OTHER WAY.........BUT PANIC STRUCK ME AND I HAD TO SURRENDER TO MY FOOLISHNESS.I CAME OUT OF EXAM HALL......TOLD MY FRIEND MRUNMAYI WHAT A MESS I HAD MADE.........AND SHE WAS ALSO SPEECHLESS......I DID NOT CRY AT THAT MOMENT.......I GUESS WAS NOT ABLE TO COME TO TERMS WITH WHAT HAD HAPPENED.BUT FINALLY WHEN I WENT HOME,AND SAW MY DAD,ASKING ME WHAT WAS WRONG,HOW COME I LANDED EARLY ,WAS I NOT FEELING WELL..........I GAVE UP.CRIED TILL I COULD GET OVER WITH IT.IT WAS TOO DIFFICULT,AS I HAD MY PHYSICS-2 PAPER NEXT DAY ITSELF.MY BROTHER DID MY BRAINWASH ,HELPED ME TO ACCEPT IT AND NOT WASTE TIME BUT STUDY FOR NEXT.I WENT AHEAD....BOARDS WERE DONE,SO WAS CET .BUT SOMEHOW I HAD LOST MY CONFIDENCE.I FELT ANGRY ON MYSELF,HOW COULD I BE SO CARELESS......AND COMMIT SUCH A STUPID MISTAKE.ALSO TRIED TO ANANALYZETHATS WHERE I WAS CONVINCED 50% THAT IT WAS GOING TO HAPPEN.......I RECOLLECTED HOW MY MOM HAD ASKED ME ABOUT EXAM TIMINGS JUST WHEN I WAS LEAVING FOR P-1 AND OVERCONFIDENTLY I HAD TOLD HER IT WAS TILL 1.30.......I NOT EVEN TRIED TO RECHECK THE TIMINGS....,EVEN BEFORE ENTERING THE EXAM HALL I HAD WISHED MRUNMAYI BEST OF LUCK ,AND TOLD HER THAT WE WILL MEET AFTER PAPER AT 1.30......POOR MRUNMAYI MUST HAVE NOT EVEN THOUGHT THAT I WOULD MESS UP LIKE THIS AND SO DID NOT BOTHER TO CORRECT ME WITH THE TIMING.WELL......ALL THESE SMALL THINGS DID TRY TO WARN ME,BUT NO ONE CAN WIN OVER THE POWER OF DESTINY(KISMET).THE REMAINING 50% THAT CONVINCED ME THAT I WAS NOT ENTITLED TO GET THOSE 7 MARKS WAS WHEN BOARD RESULTS WERE DECLARED AND WHEN I LOST THE MERIT RANK BY 2 MARKS.HAD I GOT THOSE 7 MARKS AND I WOULD HAVE BEEN A MERIT HOLDER.....(WOW!HAD NOT EVEN DREAMT OF IT BY MISTAKE.)WELL........ALLS WELL THAT ENDS WELL......I GOT THE COLLEGE I WISHED......(THANKFULLY I DID NOT SCREW UP MY CET.)BUT SOMEWHERE I FEEL.....RATHER WAS TOTALLY CONVINCED THAT ITS ALL DESTINED ,NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU TRY TO CHANGE IT,YOU CANNOT OVERCOME DESTINY,ITS STRENGTH......MAY BE THE EFFECT WILL BE LESS IF YOU TRY TO ACCEPT IT IN GOOD TERMS............LIKE I ENDED UP IN SAYING"BIG DEAL I GOT IN SARDAR PATEL".BUT ACTUALLY IT WAS A BIG DEAL!
WELL THIS WAS ONE OF THE INCIDENCE,A MAJOR ONE RELATED TO ME.THERE ARE OTHER SUCH EVENTS......LIKE ONE OF MY FRIEND HAD TO GO THROUGH THE TRAUMA OF GETTING A KT,GIVING THE EXAM AND THE ENTIRE PROCESS WHEN AT THE END AFTER THE RECHECKING PROCESS THE KT WAS BYMISTAKE.WHOM TO BLAME..........THE UNIVERSITY?WELL........THAT CANNOT HELP I GUESS WHEN TALENTED STUDENTS LIKE MY FRIEND BECOME THEIR TARGET.ITS DESTINY AGAIN SOMEWHAT.......MY LATEST ENCOUNTER WITH DESTINY WAS FABULOUS........AGAIN EXPLAINS HOW INSPITE OF DECIDING TO WATCH JAANE TU IN THEATER ......FOR ABOUT 1 MONTH BEFORE IT WAS RELEASED,I MISSED ABOUT 45 MINUTES OF IT.THANKS TO OUR CLASS,OUR (MY AND SHARVARI'S)DECISION TO GO BY RICK AND GET JAMMED IN THE TRAFFIC(WE COULD HAVE TOOK A TRAIN INSTEAD ..AND REACHED EARLY),THEN TO ADD TO IT.......I MOMENTARILY LOOSING THE TICKETS (I COULD NOT FIND ONE TICKET)WHICH MADE ME FULLY AWARE THAT "RADHIKA YOU CANNOT SEE THE MOVIE.........NO MATTER HOW MUCH LATE YOU ARE AND STILL WILLING TO GO.....YOU CANNOT..........".BUT FORTUNATELY WE FOUND THE OTHER AND ENJOYED THE REMAINING PART.SO WHATS THE GOOD SIDE OF THIS.?HOW COULD I TAKE IT IN A POSITIVE WAY WHEN IT WAS NOT AT ALL WORKING OUT IN POSITIVE WAY AND WE HAD MADE A GOOD LOSS......WELL ON MY wAY TO THE THEATER I MET A VERY OLD FRIEND OF MINE.........SOUNDS A BIT TOO OPTIMISTIC........BUT I GUESS IT HELPS .NOW A DAYS I HAVE LEARNT THIS.AND TRUST ME IT MAKES THINGS BETTER.
I HAVE TRIED TO NARRATE THE MAJOR FACTS.........BUT THERE ARE MANY SUCH SMALL EVENTS THAT MAKES ME AWARE THAT WE ARE AT THE END IN THE HANDS OF ALMIGHTY.DO NOT MISUNDERSTAND IT ........AS THAT DOES NOT MEAN WE SHOULD STOP GOOD WORK,HARD WORK ,AND OUR LIVES JUST BY SAYING"NASEEB MAINE HAIN WOH HOGA"..........THATS RUNNING AWAY.WE SHOULD CONTINUE WITH OUR DUTIES,USE OUR BRAIN AND MIND PROPERLY.......BE STRONG.............BUT AT THE SAME TIME NOT FORGET THAT THE WORLD IS SMALL,BINDED TOGETHER,AND THINGS ARE "KISMET KONNECTED.".

FRIENDS

ALL OF US HAVE FRIENDS.RIGHT FROM FIRST GRADE WE HAVE BEEN CATEGORIZING FRIENDS AS BEST FRIEND , GOOD FRIEND ,JUST CLASSMATE ETC. THE FUNNIEST PART OF OUR CHILDHOOD FRIEND CIRCLE WAS THAT ,THOSE USED TO CHANGE.....WITH DIFFERENT DIVISIONS....OR MAY BE EVEN WITHIN WEEKS.......THIS THOUGHT NOW MAKES ME LAUGH......HOW UNSTABLE WE ARE THEN,HOW IMMATURE,RATHER INNOCENT TO KNOW THE IMPORTANCE OF FRIENDSHIP! I ALSO HAD MANY SUCH SO CALLED FRIENDS.THEY CAME IN AT ONE STAGE AND JUST WENT AWAY UNNOTICED.I SHIFTED IN A NEW SURROUNDINGS.AND SOMEHOW HAD TO LOOSE MY SOCIETY FRIENDS .THOSE WERE WITH WHOM I HAD PLAYED CHOR-POLICE,OTHER TYPICAL GAMES RIGHT FROM "UMA JOSHI" TO RELLAY ,CRIED FOR SAVING MY DEN,HAD LEARNT CYCLE,PLAYED THE FIRST HOLI,AND DONE MANY SUCH NOVEL THINGS THAT COMPLETES ONE'S CHILDHOOD.I REMEMBER SECRETLY CRYING IN MY TOILET WHEN I HAD LEARNT ABOUT OUR SHIFTING.NEW BUILDING WAS FAMILIAR TO ME.MY GRANDPARENTS USED TO STAY THERE AND I WAS ACCUSTOMED TO THEIR SOCIETY CULTURE .I TRIED MY BEST TO ADAPT MYSELF.INITIALLY EVERY EVENING I WENT TO PLAY WITH MY NEW GROUP OF FRIENDS.HAD A LITTLE BIT OF RAGGING SESSIONS ALSO...LIKE TAKING REPEATED DEN OF "DABAIS PAIS" A REKNOWNED GAME OF "shivanand".WELL THINGS COULD HAVE BEEN GREAT......IF I COULD HAVE GOT REPLACEMENT FOR THE FRIENDS I HAD LEFT BEHIND.BUT SOMEHOW I WAS NOT ABLE TO ADJUST.ALWAYS HAD A FEELING THAT I WAS A STRANGER.WAS TRYING TO BE INTERFERING.MAY BE I WAS WRONG.BUT TO DO SOMETHING AGAINST MY WISH WAS NOT GOING TO HELP .SO I STOPPED GOING TO PLAY.HAD TO HEAR SOME OR OTHER COMMENTS.....LIKE I WAS A BOOKWORM,DID NOT WANT TO WASTE MY TIME IN PLAYING,THAT I WAS A COMPLETE INTROVERT,NEVER TRIED TO MINGLE WITH PEOPLE....BLAH BLAH.IT SOMETIMES HURT ME.BUT I NEVER REGREATED ABOUT IT.SCHOOL DAYS ENDED WITH A FEW CLOSE FRIENDS WITH WHOM I AM STILL IN TOUCH,AND I EMBELLISH THEM.JUNIOR COLLEGE GAVE ME SOME MORE NEW FRIENDS, BUT AGAIN MAY BE I WAS UNFORTUNATE TO CHERISH A STRONG FRIENDSHIP WITH THEM ALSO.I HAD ONE OF MY CLOSE MATE FROM SCHOOL WITH ME.AND I WAS NOT AT ALL KEEN TO ENLARGE MY WORLD. I CANNOT BLAME TIME,NOT EVEN MYSELF WHOLLY.THAT WAS THE TIME I DID NOT BOTHER OF THESE THINGS.THE IDEA OF NOT HAVING CLOSE FRIENDS AT ALL HAD NOT EVEN BY MISTAKE STRUCK ME.BUT THINGS CHANGED.COLLEGES CHANGED.SUDDENLY I FELT THAT I WAS SO ALONE.WHEN I USED TO SEE MY SOCIETY MATES GOING ON BIRTHDAY TREATS I USED TO ENVY THEM.SOMETIMES FELT LIKE JOINING THEM.BUT THEN "WHAT WILL THEY FEEL?"THIS THOUGHT ALWAYS STOPPED ME.I WAS NOT AT ALL AN INTROVERT.I STILL REMEMBER BEING THE ONLY GIRL IN MY OLD GROUP OF SOCIETY FRIENDS.BUT I THINK A PARTICULAR AGE,A PARTICULAR AIM,AND ABOVE ALL BEING A BIT CHOOSY HAD ALL RESTRICTED MY THOUGHTS.BUT A SUDDEN IDEA THAT I WAS GOING TO ENTER IN A NEW WORLD......DEGREE COLLEGE.... A PLACE WHERE I ACTUALLY REALISED THE MEANING OF "FRIENDSHIP".FIRSTLY MY GOAL OF BEING A STUDENT OF SARDAR PATEL HAD COME TRUE.DONT KNOW WHY BUT ALWAYS HAD AN INNER FEELING THAT I WAS GOING TO END UP THERE ONLY(THATS WHY DIDNOT GO FOR ANY OF VJTI'S BRANCHES...THOUGH MY BRO WAS FORCING ME TO).AND I THANK GOD TO HAVE SHOWERED ME WITH SUCH WONDERFUL FRIENDS.(TOUCHWOOD..........)IT WAS DURING MY FIRST YEAR I UNDERSTOOD THAT "FRIENDSHIP IS THE BESTEST RELATIONSHIP THAT A PERSON CAN EVER HAVE".JUST RESPECT IT........AND YOU WILL BE ABLE TO HAVE A VAST STORE OF MEMORIES.I PRAY TO GOD TO KEEP ME SAILING IN THIS SEA OF FRIENDSHIP.THERE ARE TIMES STILL WHEN I DREAD OF BEING ALONE......HAVING LOST TOUCH WITH MY FRIENDS.....BUT A SLIGHT MENTION OF THIS TO ANYONE OF THEM ASSURES ME THAT ITS JUST MY MINDGAMES WHICH I NEED TO OVERCOME.LASTLY I LIKE TO ACKNOWLEDGE ALL MY CLOSE ONES..........THAT I NEED YOU ALL ALWAYS!!EVEN TO READ THIS ATTEMPT OF MINE ,TO COMMENT ON IT AND HELP ME IMPROVE ............CHEERS!